There has been a lot of focus recently on mental health and well-being for footballers at all stages of their career. When your journey in football begins, straight away without realising it you are taking on a whole host of challenges both on and off the pitch that will either make or break you.
Phrases often used by coaches like "you’re only as good as your last game" or "you are your own worst enemy" can often concern and confuse players to the point of stress and worry.
Throughout my career to date playing in England, Thailand, Hong Kong and now Malaysia, I have experienced many mental barriers that at times hindered my progress, but on the flip side through trial and error and a journey of self discovery opened many avenues in my mind but also many doors in terms of footballing opportunities.
Four Countries and over 300+ career games later I have managed to find simple ways to help me deal with any issue, be it contract time, change of manager, change of country, worry over performance or dramatic unforeseen change in circumstances of which you have no control.
Every person has their own ways to "deal with it"… another classic phrase dished out by coaches and bearing in mind no two people are the same there are several factors that overlap which can be adopted by anybody if they open minded enough.
I will start with “change”! Humans are creatures of habit, we do not like to be tested too much or want to step out of our comfort zone but when you have no choice you can either adapt, embrace the challenge and meet it head on or fall by the wayside. In 2010 I was in my second season as club Captain at Bradford City, a regular in the starting line up and part of a winning team one weekend, by Tuesday of the next week I was on the transfer list! A week later I was in the Hilton Hotel in the bustling city of Bangkok in South East Asia alone and very uncertain of what was to come, at that moment it was fair to say I was a little worried because I was in the complete unknown, 7000 miles away from all my homely comforts and only the ‘promise’ of a contract.
As it turned out I signed for Thai Premier League Champions Muangthong United a few days later. 2011 proved to be a major turning point in terms of my environment but also in my mind and how I viewed life and football. I found by being positive, surrounding my self with positive people, prioritising, minimising burden on myself and losing a few 'friends' I was actually beginning to grow and evolve as a person by being in a new environment. The fact of the matter is the older you get and the further you go the more you have to leave behind, in some cases we have more physical and mental excess baggage than necessary. The football world is a constant process of change and the way you adapt is what will determine how happy, satisfied and fulfilled you will be.
The first few months in Thailand were not easy to adapt to new food, scorching weather, different culture, language and style of football but I found by being willing and making a conscious effort to try new things and quickly settle into a routine I did not miss home as much. In fact I spoke to my family more via Skype than I did while I was in England so we actually grew closer! I saw other players who had come from Europe/South America really struggle to adapt, some isolated themselves and did not muck in at all with the locals and others turned to drinking to help them deal with the change but it was not so long after that the club terminated their contracts. That reinforced to me my approach was correct. Occasionally I would wonder how it would be if I was still playing in England but I would snap my self out of it very quickly and refocus on the here and now because that’s the most important thing.
I am now approaching my 5th year in Asia and believe I have managed to pro long my stay by firstly doing my job on the pitch but also being comfortable with where I am and drawing on past lessons to make the future moves less daunting because the physical processes are a little different but the mental process is the same. The key to a smooth transition is knowing what processes took part in your own mind to give you that positive outlook and to view life as challenging, exciting and stimulating as opposed to sad, frightening and defeating which only leads to an overwhelming feeling of fear and loss of energy which affects your football and everyday life.
One thing that has worked for me over the years and may not work for everyone is visualisation and keeping journals, by putting pen to paper and writing down what has worked for you and what has not you quickly begin to notice patterns in your own thought process and behavior which allow you upon review to pinpoint exactly where you were feeling positive or negative about what was happening. Not everyone has a trusted advisor to act as a sounding board so this is one way to relieve stress and feel 'lighter' in your head. Football is often 24/7 all consuming so occasionally it has always helped me to do something completely different from the day to day stuff to allow you to get back to it a little more refreshed and relaxed. Visualisation can also be very powerful but requires patience and practice.
From 2006-2009 I was at QPR under the turbulent Flavio Briatore/Berni Eccelstone era and during this period I experienced just about every emotion possible, at times I was a regular, then on the transfer list pondering my next move and then back in the starting XI. I had 7 different managers during that time, some fancied you and some didn't, that’s football. I had been booed off, lambasted on the message boards under one manager and played for another a got a standing ovation and on the verge of a new deal before yet another managerial change who wants to bring in his own players! It was in this period I learned to just approach football day by day because no two days are ever the same and when things are good don't get carried away and on the flip side don't hit rock bottom when its not going well. The key is to find that neutral middle ground or the emotional roller coaster can turn you into a wreck! Focusing on what is in your control and not dwelling on things you cannot affect drastically helps to deal with what is happening around you.
The increase in social media, forums for fans, the likes facebook, twitter and Instagram have further increased the scrutiny players find themselves under which can make it even harder to escape or turn a blind eye, cyber bullying is becoming more frequent so it makes sense to be selective with these media outlets.
When I was breaking through I used to be a regular on the club message boards at each club I was at and on occasions it made for painful viewing, some real harsh opinions and that’s all they are opinions from people you will never meet or whose opinion you do not value yet it could still leave you having sleepless nights and thinking about the comments.
Feelings of insecurity are deep rooted within the game and players often want their egos massaged so the message boards are certainly not the place to seek comfort especially after a defeat or bad performance! I stopped checking newspaper ratings and message boards when I left England partly because I could not understand the language but it turned out that ignorance could sometimes really be bliss! 100+ games later in the region and I am yet to read a bad word about myself! I learned to become my own biggest fan and not be so harsh on myself because football is just one element of your life, not the be all and end all.
Twitter: @Zesh_Rehman
Website: www.zeshrehman.com
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